Flash forward to before that moment. The time in your life when you could do just about anything without feeling as if you just got off the merry-go-round. Pssh, before your vestibular disorder, you probably recovered quickly from that, too.

Balance is something we all take for granted, especially before it’s taken away from you. I’m in a much better place five years later, but there are still activities I am fearful to try for the anticipation of falling down. I’ve been on a boat and a rollercoaster since my diagnosis, but the recovery from those activities can take hours to a day.

So, what activities did you take for granted prior to your vestibular disorder? Below are my “16 Simple Activities You Take For Granted Before Losing Your Balance.”

1. Reading

Prior to VM, I never realized that reading a book, newspaper, magazine, etc. could be a difficult task. Once you are in a state of dizziness, it’s almost impossible for words and letters to not jumble together on the page. Now if I’m going to read a book, it HAS to be on a day I’m feeling okay.

2. Riding a bike

This is a no brainer. It takes balance to ride a bike and when your balance is gone, well, you get the picture.

3. Boating

With VM, you’re already on a boat. Every summer since I can remember, you’d find me on the lake. Boating is not an activity I can do that often now, but I do try to go when I’m on vacation or for a fun event. However, you will never find me on a cruise. That would be my worst nightmare.

4. Amusement Parks

I was a thrill junkie prior to VM. I loved amusement parks and roller coasters. Since my diagnosis, I have attempted to ride a few roller coasters at Disney World, but I paid for it after the fact. After riding the Expedition Everest in Animal Kingdom, I had to sit for about 30 minutes before I could even walk.

5. Dancing

I grew up dancing. Jazz, ballet, hip hop, you name it. Never did I imagine that in my 20s my balance would be taken from me. Once in a while I still want to twirl in my living room, and if I do, you can find me sitting on the floor for a bit until I can walk again.

6. Driving

In the beginning of my VM journey, I felt like I was driving drunk. Many people who have vestibular disorders have to find new ways of transportation.

7. Running

I’ve been an avid runner for most of my 20s, and after VM, it took a while for me to be able to run again. There are still several days in the month where I have to cancel my running plans because of the dizziness.

8. Walking in grocery store aisle

I don’t even have to explain this one to anyone with VM. Never did you think feeling good while grocery shopping was something you could take for granted.

9. Shifting quickly to look at something

Any movement that requires me to quickly shift to look at something happening behind me, etc., is asking for me to be white knuckling the countertop.

10. Teaching your kid to say yes and no

I didn’t realize this would be an issue until I was teaching my son to shake his head no. Now it’s my husband who has to teach him “yes” and “no” by way of shaking his head.

11. TV and movies

For the longest time I couldn’t even go to a movie theatre after VM. The sound, light and movement were very triggering.

12. Video Games

I love playing video games and had no idea that my “relaxing activity” would become a difficult task.

13. Flying on an airplane

Two words, “Ear Pressure.”

14. Ice skating

Still haven’t done this one post VM. Hoping to do it soon though to see if I can. I imagine it’s hard, though.

15. Skiing and snowboarding

See above.

16. Concerts/Night Clubs

I have forced myself to go to concerts, but the lights/sound and packed amounts of people is triggering. If I decide to go to a concert, I know I will be down the next day. But hey, I push myself through tasks, because I enjoy them and I need to live my life.

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I’m sure the VM community could go on and on about tasks they take took for granted before losing their balance. So, let me know in the comments below! What did you take for granted prior to your illness? Also, if you stumbled upon my blog and are looking for great resources out there, check out The Vestibular Disorders Association

But something kept happening. Day after day, he kept smelling like syrup. I was pretty sure I put the syrup out of reach, so why was this happening? Well, if you’re like me, the next steps are to consult Dr. Google. Typically, Dr. Google tells me that I’m dying of cancer no matter which way you slice it when you search for symptoms. However, Google usually gives me about 6 different explanations as to why I have that bump on my arm and more than likely, none of those reasons are valid.

Do me a favor real fast, Google “Why does my baby smell like maple syrup?” I’ll wait.

Did you do it? Because if you did, you’ll see that there really isn’t ANY explanation on the internet, other than your kid must have “Maple Syrup Urine Disease.” I’m sorry? There is a disease that is THAT specific. That your kid’s urine quite literally smells like maple syrup? Due to the fact that I already have a rare medical condition, this Google search sent an already dizzy me into a spiral.

If you were too lazy to search this, here is what it is:

Maple Syrup Urine Disease – MSUD

Maple Syrup Urine Disease is an inherited disorder in which the body is unable to process certain protein building blocks (amino acids) properly. The condition gets its name from the distinctive sweet odor of affected infants’ urine. It is also characterized by poor feeding, vomiting, lack of energy (lethargy), abnormal movements, and delayed development. If untreated, maple syrup urine disease can lead to seizures, coma, and death.

In case you missed that last sentence, this disease can cause SEIZURES, COMA, and DEATH. And maple syrup is the tip-off of this? I bet you don’t need to imagine too hard how I reacted to this search. I scoured the internet to find another possible reason (which doesn’t seem to come up) and called my doctor panicking. The nurse started running through questions about MSUD and told me we needed to come in.

They quickly brought us in to go over the symptoms I described about Declan. I noticed that every morning when I got him, he was smelling like maple syrup. I assumed at this point, it must be his urine and the sky is most likely falling. After all, this wasn’t my first rodeo learning something SO random about our bodies that turns out to be completely rare.

I had spent the whole morning Googling what his diet would have to be like with this disorder and felt so sad for him that he wouldn’t know what a cheeseburger would taste like. This condition is SO rare, much like when I was first diagnosed with VM, there wasn’t much personal experience on the internet – just doomsday info.

This brings me back to my doctor’s appointment. I was prepared for the worst. When the doctor walked in, I was ready for her to lay on the bad news. She took his vitals, ran a few tests, and then said to me, “Does Declan sleep in fleece at night?”

Uhm, lady, I told you my kid smells like syrup. It’s not like Declan is popping out of his crib at night and having a waffle party downstairs.

My answer: “Well, no. He wears cotton pajamas but with a fleece sleep sack since it’s been cold out.”

Doctor: “So, this is going to sound weird. But, when a baby sweats, something makes baby fleece material smell like syrup. There is some property in it that causes this smell to happen.”

And this is the moment where I felt dumb. I dragged Declan into the doc, created this monster of doom in my head to find out that he just has syrupy-smelling baby sweat from fleece. Yes, I felt dumb, but also SUPER relieved. My doctor laughed and said that we weren’t the first case to come in for this and that it’s rarely talked about, but something about ANY type of baby fleece can cause this smell. She also let us know that they continue to check for this in bloodwork and he was fine. That IF he did have the rare condition that can show up later in an infant’s life, he would have had other symptoms BESIDES the maple syrup smell.

This, my friends, is exactly why I’m sharing this ridiculous story on my blog. If you have found yourself down the rabbit hole of “why does my kid smell like syrup?” don’t jump right to MSUD. They do screenings at the hospital right when your baby is born to check for this condition. It’s very rare and even more rare for your babies to develop it later in life.

Sure, I know it can happen, but I hope that this post provides some relief for a future stressed-out family. There’s always a possibility that something could be wrong, so please, take your kid to the doc to get it ruled out. However, also know, it is possible that your kid just smells like syrup.

While dizziness was definitely the symptom that changed my life as I knew it, light sensitivity and migraine aura wasn’t far behind it. For me, light sensitivity is often the first symptom to be aggravated, and it typically causes my “Alice in Wonderland” and dizziness to strike.  Migraine is a strange disease, isn’t it? Symptoms related to the disease can also cause other ancillary symptoms – at least for me.

The other night, I had such a bad attack while sitting on the couch, it reminded me of a story of when I first got sick that I’ve been meaning to tell. (This story may trigger you, so read with caution.)

A ROAD TRIP DOWN A RABBIT HOLE

It had been about two weeks since I first came down with symptoms of VM. I was still learning about this disease and was trying to push through the plans I had made that fall. One of those being, a trip down to San Marcos, TX to watch my school, University of Idaho, play Texas State University in football. I had coordinated with a lot of my friends from Idaho who lived in the south for a fun weekend.

The morning before we headed down, I had my first MRI to see what was going on in my brain due to my dizziness symptoms. (They would later on discover that my MRI showed white matter in relation to migraine and that my skull was thinning near my ears, all which play a part into my diagnosis.)

Now mind you, it’s been two weeks of dealing with dizziness and the MRI honestly pushed me over the edge. The loud noises and bright hospital lights caused me to go into a full-blown attack, but at the time, I had no idea what was happening to my body. After stumbling out of the hospital, I remember pacing the parking lot trying to calm myself down. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was on the verge of having a major panic attack.

I pulled it together and got into the car to go on a road trip with my husband to meet up with friends. I have always been a social butterfly, and I didn’t want this to ruin my weekend. I could tell the minute we started driving that I felt “off” and kept trying to ignore it. Perhaps, it was the motion of the car that was causing me to feel dizzy, so I suggested we should stop to grab some food.

While sitting in the McDonald’s lobby, which was filled with bright lights and TVs, the room started to move slowly and I began to feel the panic seep into me. I felt like I was in a movie, and it was a scene where the camera almost circles the protagonist when they’re in a crisis. I remember grabbing a french fry and completely missed my mouth. When I went to look down to grab the fry, my arms appeared totally stretched out, and I had no concept of what was actually close enough to touch. The panic started to rush. I started looking around me to see if anyone was noticing me, and I remember seeing this old woman in the corner of the restaurant mumbling to herself as she stared at me. Was she able to see me freaking out in the corner? It had felt like I was suddenly floating outside of my body, and I was homing in on strange details happening around me.

Freaking out, I told Marc that we needed to leave. I grabbed my food and decided I could eat in the car. Within seconds, the same thing happened again. I went to grab ketchup and spilled it everywhere because I suddenly had lost the ability to understand the space around me. What looked like something right in front of me, ended up being a few inches farther. I remember I started to cry because I thought I was losing my mind. Marc asked me if I wanted to turn around and I refused. I wasn’t going to let this defeat me. I had wanted to see my friends, we’ve been planning this for months, we weren’t turning around. The whole weekend would continue this way. It was the longest panic/Alice in Wonderland attack I have ever experienced. I remember praying if I went to sleep that night, I would wake up feeling fine.

The next day I couldn’t even feel my face as I was trying to put makeup on, all while pretending I was feeling completely normal. How would my friends understand that my arms and hands suddenly grew really long but only I could see it? It was a constant battle the whole weekend and could have easily been treated with medication and natural treatments if I knew what was going on with my body.

Still to this day, I have to mentally prepare to get in the car for a long trip. I know my VM is under control now, but I still have a fear that it will happen again.

MY EMERGENCY TOOL KIT

It’s been a while since I have had an Alice in Wonderland attack. I’ve maybe had 10 episodes in my entire VM journey. However, my light sensitivity can also cause migraine aura so debilitating my whole vision goes gray, which is what happened the other night. These types of attacks used to make me have a full-fledged panic attack, (and still cause a little anxiety) but almost 5 years later, I know what is going on with my body. I take a deep breath and resort to my emergency tool kit.

The minute I see my vision is becoming cloudy or I see rainbow worms squiggle across my eyeballs, I pop on my migraine glasses. They will provide relief enough for me to grab my medications.

The next step is to take my emergency meds such as Ativan and Timolol Eyedrops (The Dizzy Cook has a great article explaining how those help with VM.)

Lastly, I find a dark room and go to sleep. Once again praying, this will feel better in the morning. (I was just lucky this attack happened at night because Declan was already asleep.)

However, while it’s great that I have my “go-to’s,” they don’t always work. Yesterday I was dealing with hormonal changes, Dallas had severe weather and I hadn’t been sleeping well (teething baby.) I feel slightly better today, but the migraine “hangover” is still very real. I’m dizzy, feel nauseous, and exhausted.

The part that is craziest to me is that all my attacks always start with light sensitivity. I might have contributing factors like the ones I stated above, but 9 out of 10 times, it’s a computer, TV, or bright fluorescent light that causes me to experience Alice in Wonderland, a melting in the floor sensation, my “gray aura” or just my typical drunk dizziness that causes me to run into the wall. This is exactly why you will always see me wearing sunglasses, migraine glasses, or needing rooms to be low lit. It’s another reason I won’t be able to work in an office again. I can’t handle the light. Our brains are very sensitive and simple lights that are part of our day-to-day could be what makes everything go dark.

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For anyone who has experienced a horrible attack caused by light, let me know in the comments below!

For more information about vestibular migraine, check out a great resource such as VeDA.

We just had our baby boy, Declan, so I was hyper vigilant on anyone we interreacted with when he first entered the world. Still to this day, only a handful of people have actually met him, let alone held him. I have hardly seen my friends or family this year, and while plenty of my friends and family had traveled in 2020, I haven’t stepped on an airplane or even left Texas. The craziest human interaction we’ve had is going to the grocery store and once in a while to a restaurant but typically sat outside. I also continued to work full-time without childcare because of my fear of catching the virus.

All of that said, we made a decent effort to comply with the CDC guidelines, and yet, we still found ourselves face-to-face with COVID-19.

MY POSITIVE COVID TEST

I believe that Declan had the virus first. I had thought he had an ear infection and a cold, so I took him to the doctor to get a checkup. He didn’t have a fever, so they suggested it was just him teething. A few days later, I woke up with a teeny, tiny sore throat. It was days before Christmas, and we had plans to see our family. I decided the responsible thing to do was to get a test.

After a quick search, rapid tests were the only available option in my area. I remained on the phone with my mom (who is a nurse) while I took the test in my car. Guys, I was so confident that I didn’t have the Coronavirus that when the nurse came back to give me my results this is the conversation that took place…

Nurse: “Okay, so, your results are positive. Here is some paperwork on what you’ll need to do next.”

Me: (So confident that I would hear a negative and not fully listening….) “Okay, great! Thanks! Have a great day!!” (As I drive off into the distance…)

My Mom on the phone: Silence…. “Kayla, did you not hear her?”

Me: (Hitting the brakes) “Oh my god. She said positive!” (Cue my 2-minute cry and doomsday music playing in my head.)

I didn’t feel sick enough that the positive results were a huge shock to me. Not to mention, how did we even get this? We had hardly seen anyone! It just goes to show, ANY TIME you step out of the house, you take a risk.

QUARANTINE AND WAITING GAME

After I got home and shared the news with my husband, I felt a HUGE rush of anxiety. I had been glued to my TV for the last 9 months, and based on the media, I definitely was going to die. It’s silly if you look at the stats and my health, I wasn’t likely to croak, but the media makes COVID seem to be a death sentence for everyone due to their anecdotal coverage.

There’s no doubt that this is a serious virus and that it’s sadly taken the lives of so many this last year, but I think the worst symptom of the virus is the anxiety attack that comes with it. Each day I was waiting for my lungs to collapse and for me to have to be rushed to the ER. However, I’m clearly writing this blog post 14-days later and happy to report I never needed hospital care. I also want to share my daily symptoms in hopes to help someone who just received a positive test and needing some reassurance – even though everyone has responded differently to this virus.

Day 1: I test positive the minute I felt my first symptoms which was a tiny sore throat. Within 12 hours that day, I would feel extreme cold symptoms move in such as a runny nose, congestion, a cough and SEVERE exhaustion.

Day 2: This was definitely my worst day. I woke up that night feeling like water was in my lungs. I learned quickly that laying on your back is a no-no with COVID because your lungs can’t expand as well. The following nights I would lay on my belly. On day 2, my symptoms had worsened into a REALLY bad cold. Same symptoms of runny nose, congestion, a cough and SEVERE exhaustion.

Concerned, I called my healthcare provider, and they gave me a cough medicine and Z-pak.

Day 3 – 4: I was finally starting to feel better with my cold symptoms, but the exhaustion and congestion remained.

Day 5 and on: I gradually started to feel better every day and currently just have a little congestion remaining. I never lost my taste or smell and can say that, for me, it felt like a bad cold.

I was definitely the sickest one in my family. My baby just had a runny nose for about 5 days and my husband had ONE day where he felt like he was going to sneeze all day with some pressure in his face.

COVID TREATMENT PLAN

Unless you’re severely sick, there’s not much you can do in terms of medication for COVID. I don’t know if the Z-pak did much for me, but I did start feeling better the day after I started taking it. I also continued to take my steroid inhaler that is part of my asthma treatment plan.

Beyond that, we were on top of taking vitamins to boost our immune system. The vitamins we took were as follows…

Vitamin D3 (10,000 units)

Vitamin C (1000 mg)

Zinc (200 mg)

I also continued to take my magnesium (500 mg) that I religiously take for my vestibular migraine treatment, which brings me to my next point…

VESTIBULAR SYMPTOMS AND COVID

It’s been discussed that one symptom of COVID is vertigo. Well, if you have a vestibular disorder, it’s hard to know if you’re experiencing dizziness from the coronavirus or if it’s just another day in dizzy land. I will say that for me, I felt 10x dizzier than normal.

I typically have VM attacks when I’m stressed or anxious, and as I stated above, my positive test had me anxiously awaiting my demise the entire 14 days. No doubt that contributed to my VM symptoms, along with the congestion and exhaustion. Getting up to use the restroom felt like running a mile and was even more exhausting when you’re trying to not run into the walls.

Overall, even if COVID did present dizziness symptoms as part of my illness, I would have no idea. I definitely was dizzier, but dizziness is at least something I know how to cope with, unlike the fear of ending up in the hospital because my lungs were filled with fluid.

I’M STILL ALIVE AND KICKING

I now write this blog 14 days later after coming down with the Coronavirus. We were lucky and had mild symptoms. I don’t even think we were hit with a second wave that I had known to affect other friends of mine. They say between days 5 and 10 things can worsen and you need to pay attention to your symptoms. I’m very grateful that we are reportedly doing okay. And honestly, based on what I’ve been reading and stories from others who have had COVID, their experiences have been relatively similar to mine.

That doesn’t mean that I’m taking away from the fact that COVID is deadly, however, it’s a reminder that if you do in fact test positive, take a deep breath. It’s very unlikely that you’ll end up in the hospital if you’re proactive with taking care of yourself.

And in the meantime, just wear your freaking mask. I’m still convinced that I became ill from you people with your noses hanging out of your mask. That’s right, I’m looking at you, Karen.

So, if you’re feeling clueless like me, I figured it didn’t hurt to brainstorm some ideas of gifts someone with migraine would love that are also unique and thoughtful. Because while the world might have stopped this year, a chronic illness never goes on vacation.

1. Migraine Glasses

Big surprise this made it on my list, right? Haha. For those who have followed me, you know that I don’t leave the house without my Migraine Shields. I am obsessed with the Blue Kinsley frames, and I wear them with the Everyday lens. I also have a pair in the episodic lens for when I am having a migraine attack.

Migraine Shields block the light at 455 nm and are an important tool in my kit for me to tolerate lights at the grocery store, restaurants, a friend’s house with bright lights, etc. These make a great and thoughtful gift for anyone who suffers from migraine, light sensitivity or anyone who has to sit and stare at a computer all day for work. It’s a win-win.

This Black Friday weekend you can get them for 30% off with the code TRUEKAYLAISMS (rather than my standard 20%.) Plus, they’re now offering Readers in their lenses.

2. The Dizzy Cook Cookbook

My dear friend, Alicia from The Dizzy Cook, released her cookbook earlier this year. It’s full of 90 fun and delicious recipes that don’t make you feel like you’re on a specific diet to help manage your migraine. Honestly, I am not really affected by food triggers, but I still make Alicia’s recipes because they’re delicious. (Drooling over her chimichurri sauce…)

Not to mention, besides the great recipes, Alicia’s book features a wealth of information on vestibular migraine.

Alicia also sells a bunch of punny migraine-themed cooking goodies in her shop.

3. Make a Donation In Honor Of Your Loved One

If you suffer from a vestibular disorder, The Vestibular Disorder’s Association (VeDA) is a great nonprofit that helps spread awareness. This organization was a huge part of my recovery in the sense that they connected me with this community.

A great thoughtful gift could be donating to VeDA “in honor of” your loved one. They also sell some dizzy swag that not only makes as a great gift but also help VeDA with their mission in reaching more people.

4. Create A Spa Day

It’s a bit hard to manage going to the spa during COVID, so turn your bathroom into the spa for your loved one. Buy some candles, essential oils, bubble bath, etc. and put them together in a basket.

Self-care is SO important when you have a chronic illness, and recognizing that your loved one needs it is a gift within itself.

5. Online Fitness Subscription

There are a lot of great streaming fitness programs out there right now. Yoga is a great way to help with vestibular rehab, and it’s comforting that you can do it in your own home.

In the past, I’ve used The Ballet Physique and Core Power. Both have been great workouts and online subscription options that you can do from your own living room. The best part? If you stumble because you’re dizzy, no one will know.

6. The Gift of Guidance from A Vestibular Neurologist

I credit the fact that I feel “mostly normal” to my neurologist, Dr. Beh. I was so lucky that he was in Dallas, TX, especially because there aren’t many neurologists that specialize in vestibular disorders. Earlier this year, he published, “Victory Over Vestibular Migraine – The Action Plan For Healing And Getting Your Life Back.”

This book is a great resource on all things vestibular migraine including different medications, non-drug therapies and an explanation of what makes you dizzy. Dr. Beh was the first doctor to reassure me I wasn’t crazy and that while this disease might always be a part of my life, it can be managed.

This book is the perfect gift for someone who may have recently found out they have vestibular migraine and are in search for a doctor to help them with their treatment plan. Not to mention, virtual appointments are a thing this year. Maybe that could be the best gift of all!

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I hope this helps spur some creativity for this year’s season of giving. There are plenty of migraine-specific products out there, but sometimes, thinking outside of the box shows that you are making an effort to learn about your loved one’s disease.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I’m grateful for each and every one of you!

And while having our little man during a pandemic was a WEIRD time to navigate, I still don’t feel like my weekends have changed too much. However, what has changed is my appreciation for moms. Holy cow, was I naive before I ventured into motherhood. I never understood why people’s schedules were centered around naps and why these women couldn’t stop yammering on about their kids. So, let me start by apologizing profusely and continue with sharing my “6 Myths Of Motherhood.”

MYTH: Staying Home With Your Child = Mimosas and Yoga

HA! If only you had time to even think about going to the gym.

I’m still working, but I’m home with my baby. Honestly, my career is easier work than my other job known as mom. My little dude needs my attention 24/7 to make sure he’s fed, changed, entertained and not bonking his head on every corner or sharp edge in my house.

When Declan was about 3 months, he had a blowout 5 mins before I had a Zoom meeting with a client. It literally GOT EVERYWHERE. All over me, his play mat, himself, etc. I immediately took off our clothes and was running around in my bra as I carried my naked (laughing) baby to change him. By the time I attended my call, we were good to go, but I had never experienced ANYTHING like that before prior to having a baby.

Seriously. I’m working 35 hours a week on top of being a mom. I am EXHAUSTED at the end of the day. I completely understand why being a “stay at home mom” is a job. Again, I’m so sorry for thinking your days were spent at the country club.

MYTH: Moms Refer To Their Baby In Months To Be Obnoxious.

I remember being at a social gathering once, and two moms talking about how their child was 12 months and the other saying their baby was 15 months. I secretly rolled my eyes into the back of my head and thought… “You guys can say they’re a year/year a half.”

Yep, now I get it. All of these milestones/clothing/vaccinations are based on months. I doubt I start referring to Declan in “years” ’til he reaches the 2-year-old mark.

MYTH: My Conversations Won’t Revolve Around My Baby

Anyone who thinks that hasn’t had a kid. My friends and I still might catch up on the latest gossip, but our conversations have shifted from “so and so got so drunk last weekend” to “is it normal for your baby to not have pooped in 2 days?”

We joke all the time how funny our conversations were a year ago. Now I have mom groups where we discuss all of our children’s bodily fluids, quirky habits along with our anatomy changes. Things I NEVER thought I would talk about, let alone admit on my blog.

And if you haven’t already, just TRY and see if you can go on a date with your spouse and not talk about your kid.

MYTH: You Chop Your Hair Off Because You’re Lazy

My hair has always been my thing, and I figured most moms had cut their hair off because you just stop caring. When really, you don’t have a second to yourself and an easy hairstyle is a must. Not to mention, even if I do my hair these days, it still finds its way into a ponytail because Declan thinks of my hair as a means to steer me around the house. I think the days of having long hair might be over for me.

MYTH: My House Will Never Be Covered With Baby Stuff

Do you want to slap me yet? Haha. I remember thinking that baby toys were loud and obnoxious both in a visual and auditory sense. “I will never have my house covered in baby stuff.” Yeah, that’s a joke. I have a 3-story townhome and every floor has a designated baby area full of toys, diapers, etc. To think that you will never be that mom is a joke.   

MYTH: I Will Have Plenty of Time To Work On “Me.”

Unfortunately, this is a harsh reality. I didn’t realize that working full-time and being a mom full-time, “you time” is harder to come by. I had a rough recovery from my c-section and a screwed up back, so my fitness journey has been a bit delayed. I do find some time to do self-care thanks to my husband, but I know a lot of women don’t have that support or option.

Needless to say, our little people are definitely worth it, but I was VERY judgmental about motherhood before heading out on this journey. I have some friends who are very passionate about what it is to be a woman after having a baby. You brought this tiny human into the world, sacrificed your body, and shifted your life around to care for them.

So, for the mom’s reading this right now (which I assume your kid must be sleeping since you have a minute to yourself) cheers to your badass self. What you do every day isn’t a walk in the park, and your kiddos are lucky to have you.

And don’t leave me hanging… how were you naive before having kids? Let me know in the comments below!

In four years, I’ve been through quite the ringer. I’ve tried various pill cocktails that either had crazy side-effects for me or didn’t work. However, on that journey, I also discovered a treatment plan that helped me feel like my best self. It has also evolved as I’ve gone through new stages of life such as pregnancy and postpartum. So, what better time to share my “Current Vestibular Migraine Treatment Plan” than on the anniversary of my beloved (insert sarcasm here) vestibular disorder.

So, what is in my current treatment plan?

Still Taking Vitamins

That’s right. I’m still taking vitamins – mainly 500mg of Magnesium. I’ve been on a prenatal since last year for my pregnancy and postpartum which has a lot of the vitamins I was taking previously. To me, it seemed to be enough.

I will say, in the 4 years I’ve been dealing with this, I can definitely notice if I forget to take my Magnesium, so I know it will definitely be part of my long-standing treatment plan indefinitely.

Prescribed Medications

As I said before, I’ve tried a lot of different medications from Amitriptyline to beta-blockers. I had horrible reactions to both and was nervous to try anything else while actively trying to get pregnant. Now that I’ve had my baby and my VM flare-up postpartum, I have a few new medications that I am taking to combat my symptoms. Those include…

Preventative: AJOVY

My doctor, Dr. Beh, thought that the AJOVY injection would be a great medication for me to try while I was still breastfeeding. It’s once a month and a shot that I administer myself. I’ve been on it for 3 months now and have been feeling better for the most part. However, I’ve started to wean on breastfeeding so my VM has been rearing its ugly head as my hormones fluctuate. Hopefully, the AJOVY keeps more attacks at bay.

Preventative: Timolol Eye Drops

I have been taking Timolol since before I was pregnant. It’s one of the few drugs that I haven’t experienced any crazy side-effects with and was safe during pregnancy. I feel like they tend to help with my light sensitivity symptom.

Rescue Med: Ativan

Prior to Ativan, I was taking Valium when I had really bad dizzy days. Valium has a long half-life which wasn’t great for breastfeeding- not so with Ativan. However, to be honest, this is my backup drug. I rarely take it and only usually take the Ativan if I am having a HORRIBLE attack.

Rescue Med: Zofran

Awe, Zofran. Zofran and I were buddies during pregnancy when I had HG. Once in a while, I will have nausea with my VM, and that’s when the Zofran comes back into play.

Migraine Glasses

If you’ve followed my journey in the last few years, you know that I’m a HUGE advocate of migraine glasses. I am VERY light-sensitive and was in search of the perfect pair of lenses. I’ve tried them all, but Migraine Shields has been the best solution for me. They don’t distort color, are easier to wear for longer stretches of time (especially when I work on my computer,) but most of all, they don’t scream that I have an illness.

I know that rose-tinted lenses help a lot of people, but I felt dizzier when I tried FL-41 lenses. Plus, let’s face it, I’m basic. I wanted to find the most “fashionable” glasses I could while still feeling the benefits from blocking the light.

Try a pair for yourself! (You have a 45-day trial period to see if they work for you.) You can also receive 20% off with code TRUEKAYLAISMS. (They will be 25% off through October 30th.)

Self-Care

Prioritizing my self-care hasn’t changed either. Yes, I have a 7-month-old now, but I still work to make time for myself. If I am not feeling my best, my whole family will suffer. During COVID I have had to change that plan a little bit, but I still work to include massages into my routine monthly, taking bubble baths, making sure I’m getting enough sleep, meditation, and doing yoga online.

Being Mindful Of What I Put Into My Body

I am not going to lie. Being a new mom is exhausting, and I definitely tried to sneak in some caffeine. THAT WAS A BAD IDEA! Seriously, I felt the effects immediately. If you’ve tried the Heal Your Headache diet and learned what triggers you, stay away from those foods if possible. For me, caffeine has always been a trigger along with some aged meats and cheeses. Once in a while, I get brave and try them, but always feel it the next day. It’s just better to forgo those foods altogether.

So, there you have it. It’s been 4 years; a lot of life changes and I’m still hanging in there. It feels like just yesterday when I was researching vestibular migraine and scared the crap out of myself that I would have this for the rest of my life.

But truthfully, I’m so used to my new way of life, I can’t really remember life before VM. I’m not sure if that’s sad or if that just shows that if you work to find a treatment plan that works for you, you can resume your life as normal as possible.

So, uh, happy anniversary to me?

For those who don’t know much about me besides the fact I suffer from a chronic illness, I also am a new mom and run my own small marketing business. I’ve been on both sides of representing brands and accepting partnerships for my own brand. This reason alone is why I want to give out a few pointers on how to secure a partnership with a brand that will have lasting results for everyone involved.  

Do You Have a Media Kit?

This is important from a company perspective. If you’re expecting several hundred dollars from a brand to pay you to post, make sure you have an up to date media kit. Also, make sure that media kit is robust with data points and is professionally put together. This is an opportunity to sell yourself and your brand, so ditch the screenshots, guys.

Companies are pitched by micro influencers regularly, so it’s important that you can share why you’re the person to partner with by showcasing your website/social traffic, engagement and other selling points in a well-constructed document.

Know Your Audience

During my career in public relations, it was always important that if I were to pitch a reporter, I knew their beat (i.e. topic focus.)  It would be insulting to pitch the health reporter with a story about fashion. Why? Because it shows that you didn’t take the time to do any research and that you’re okay with wasting their time. Reporters are busy, receive several pitches a day, and if you’re wanting them to write about your client, it’s important to get straight to the point.

I believe that this principal is pretty similar in all business and definitely goes hand-in-hand when pitching a brand to work with you. If you’re asking for $500 for a post, you should be able to easily showcase that your audience would be a customer of the brand in which you’re pitching. Be prepared to share demographics and interests.

Back-Up Your Stats

Engagement is great and a lot of the time large companies will be happy to pay for low cost brand awareness. However, if you’re looking to build long-standing partnerships with mid-size brands, you’ll need to back up your engagement stats.  It’s great that you receive 1000+ likes on a post. You’re clearly doing something right. However, proving that those “likes” turned into conversions is what a company will want to see.

If you’ve previously worked with another brand, make sure to create a detailed report on how that campaign was successful.

When I sift through brand partnership requests, I want to see evidence that purchases were made from a post, that people clicked to my client’s website via an affiliate link, etc. It’s up to you to gather all of your previous data and include it in your pitch to a company.

Too many times do I feel like influencers make up a dollar amount for a post without being able to back it up with conversions and the ROI a company will receive after working together.

Nurture the Relationship

Ask yourself this, are you looking to work with a brand for some quick cash or are you wanting to create a long-term partnership that will continue to grow into new opportunities?

There are a lot of influencers out there who will literally work with any brand just to make some extra cash. To each their own, but you start losing credibility down the line when you “believe in” any product thrown your way. Especially if they’re in the same industry.

If you’re wanting to grow as an influencer, you’ll want to not only build trust with your audience but partner with a brand for the long haul. Choose a brand that you’re passionate about and that your audience will be passionate about as well.

It might start off as an affiliate deal, but as time goes on and you show your value to a brand, it could develop into paid posts, giveaways, paid emails, etc. on top of the affiliate program you’ve been promoting. Thus, creating a substantial increase in revenue for you over time- rather than that $200 one off post.

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Navigating the world of affiliate/influencer relationships is still in its infancy. As this avenue of marketing continues to grow and people strive to be influencers in various topic areas, it’s important for a new up and coming influencer to be able to make a claim on why they’re worth a company spending their marketing dollars on them.

Because who knows, the next brand you pitch could not only be your meal ticket but the start of a long and fruitful relationship.

For many, a vestibular disorder will completely change your life from the way that you knew it. Your balance is suddenly swept from you, and you will find yourself on a journey desperate to find your old self. When I first was diagnosed my counselor said something very interesting to me. She told me that I would have to learn to mourn my old life to be able to accept my “new normal.”

Looking back now, I truly had to go through the stages of grief to be able to start living my life again, which is why I want to share these stages when it comes to chronic illness.

Stage 1: Denial

I was in complete denial when I first got sick. I chalked it up to a cold that would only last a few weeks. I was completely healthy, so how could I suddenly have a sickness that would always make me experience balance problems? I remember when I first started researching vestibular migraine, I stumbled upon a support group where someone was talking about having this disorder going on 12 years.

12 years!? Excuse me, but I am in my 20s and have a life to live. This can’t be something that goes on for more than a few weeks. I kept telling myself that it was in my head, which only caused more anxiety in the long run. The denial stage would go on for a few months for me.

Stage 2: Depression (and anxiety)

The stages of grief can vary, but I went through depression after denial. It was becoming evident to me that this wasn’t going away. I was in a constant state of anxiety because I couldn’t control the most basic function as a human in terms of walking straight. I was canceling all my plans with friends and was in a state of constant terror of when the next “Alice in Wonderland” symptom would rear its ugly head.

I remember sitting on the floor in my bedroom using a meditation app to keep myself from having a panic attack before a work Christmas party. I had always been a SUPER social person and the fact I couldn’t go out in public without wanting to fall down caused SO much anxiety for me which led into a form of depression. (That was a big reason I started seeing a counselor and working on self-care.)

A lot of people are now experiencing this with the COVID quarantine. It’s a horrible feeling to know you can’t leave your house. Feeling stir crazy is a real thing.  

Stage 3: Anger

At this point, it had been a few months now, and nothing was changing. I was stuck at home, couldn’t drive, had a doctor telling me it seemed like I was experiencing a psychological problem and had been misdiagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis a few times. Why couldn’t anyone figure out what was wrong with me? Why did this happen to me?

I remember feeling angry that my dizziness was not subsiding, that my friends and family didn’t understand and that my relationships and career were suffering from this balance issue that I had, and I still lacked answers. Not to mention that any medication that was prescribed to me only caused me to feel worse.

At this point I was racking up medical bills only for doctors to tell me I was crazy or misdiagnose me. The thought of seeing another doctor just to be dismissed was causing for me to hit my breaking point.

Stage 4: Bargaining

After a few months of searching for a diagnosis, an ENT at the Dallas Ear Institute properly diagnosed me. She informed me that after all of the testing that was done, they concluded I had vestibular migraine and that, unfortunately, this was something I would probably be dealing with the rest of my life.

A month later I would find myself in Dr. Beh’s office for him to tell me the same thing but also explain that I had a thinning of my skull that is likely contributing to the problem. Then I saw an Otolaryngologist that same day that worked with Dr. Beh. He explained that I must have had vestibular neuritis when I first got sick and that it appears it damaged my vestibular nerve. Hence the fact why my dizziness got better over time but still was causing me to only feel 70% myself.

I remember leaving that day feeling COMPLETELY overwhelmed and crying. How in the world did I have so many contributing factors going on in my head. A birth defect (thin skull) that played into this diagnosis? The fact that I had vestibular neuritis and never knew? All of this led into the bargaining stage of grief. For about a week, I sat around with “what if” statements flying around my head.

“What if I would have gone to the doctor sooner? What if I just listened to my body from the get-go and didn’t ignore what stress was doing to me. This is my fault.”

“If only I would have enjoyed and not taken my balance for granted.”

Those thoughts then progressed into me tapping into my spiritual thoughts.

“God, I promise that I will do better if you help me return to my old self.”

Stage 5: Acceptance

It took me around a year to find some sort of acceptance with this condition. To be honest, I went through the stages of grief a few times before finally accepting this illness.

And as I said above, the idea of mourning my “old life” was what helped me get to a place of acceptance. It was clear that my life before my vestibular disorder was in the past. If I wanted to start living again, I would need to learn to accept my fate. That took time, but after prioritizing my self-care, advocating for my health, and finding a treatment plan that was creating results, I would start to realize that I could become happy again.

I think working on my anxiety and not hyper-focusing on every bout of dizziness definitely helped, too. I was learning that this was my new normal, that there were products and medications I could use to help achieve a sense of normalcy and that life wasn’t over.

It’s been almost 4 years now with VM, and while I still feel the effects of it daily, I refuse to let it get me down. I have learned a lot about myself through this journey in the sense that I’m strong and capable of getting through something life-changing. This journey has also helped me cope with times of uncertainty like COVID.

You never know what life will throw at you, but it’s your choice to either let it consume you or find a way to become better from it.  

You know that Nyquil commercial where the parents are sick and go ask their child if they can take the day off? I relate to that commercial on a whole different level. I wanted to ask Declan if he was cool with just chilling and taking care of himself as I laid in bed for the day. (When he was a newborn that was almost doable. Haha.) But no, my 3-month-old needs me and whether I have a migraine or not, he’s my first priority.

So how do you cope when your head feels like it would feel better if it just fell off? I’m listing my 7 ways I have learned to cope with a VM attack while being present for my little dude.

Refrain From Holding Your Baby Unless You Have To

I talked about this during my postpartum journey. If you’re feeling dizzy, there are alternatives to being present with your baby without the risk of falling while holding them – whether that’s utilizing your swing, bouncy chair, etc. You can read more of my go-to’s here.

Declan is now 3 months, so he’s started playing more on his mat with his toys and enjoys tummy time. If he was laying down, you’d find me laying down right next to him with my head upright so I didn’t make my dizziness worse. But when I’m having an attack, I prefer to be laying on my side.

Continue To Sleep When The Baby Sleeps

This has always been a tip for new moms in their little ones first few weeks of life when no one is sleeping, but it’s also a great tip for moms with chronic migraine. Maybe I wasn’t able to sleep in Declan’s 30-60-minute naps, but I definitely shut my blinds and relaxed in the dark.

Wear Light Blocking Lenses

If you’ve been following me, you know that I am a HUGE advocate for some blue light blocking glasses. Light is my worst trigger, and they are the only way I can survive when I’m having an attack.  I wear migraine glasses and have both the “everyday” lens and the “episodic” lens. I use the episodic on my bad days. I highly recommend them if you want to feel as normal as possible during an attack.

Make Mealtime Easy

You’re already trying to power through the day with your baby while having a migraine attack, so doing more than that just isn’t an option. My girl, Alicia, a.k.a “The Dizzy Cook,” provided these easy weeknight meals, but if that’s still too much work, don’t feel guilty if you just need to order in. If you’re sensitive or on the HYH diet, make sure to be aware of what is in the food you’re ordering.

Obviously, I stay away from the Chinese food that’s loaded with MSG but have been lucky enough that I have fresh food options near me. Plus, during COVID, you’re helping small businesses.

When In Doubt, Rely On Your Rescue Meds

I’m currently breastfeeding, so when I saw my neurologist at my last visit, I was curious what would be okay to take during an attack. In the past I took valium as a rescue medication, but the drug tends to stay in your system longer and can be passed to your baby.

Now, I’ve been prescribed Ativan which has a shorter half-life and will be out of your system in 12 hours. So if I put the baby down at 7 p.m. I am okay to feed him again at 7 a.m. This is why it’s important to have a supply of breast milk on hand.

You Do You, Once The Baby Is Down For The Night

If you survived the day without calling in reinforcements like family or your spouse, you’re one strong mama. And one strong mama deserves some self-care. Normally, I’d suggest a glass of sauv blanc, but that is counterintuitive.

For me, once Declan was down, I would draw a warm bubble bath with eucalyptus, turn off the lights, light a few candles and listen to my “chillaxin” playlist. Once I had a moment to breathe, it was off to bed early so that I could get enough sleep before he wakes me up at 4 a.m.

Bury The Mom Guilt And Escape When You Need To

Sometimes your “at home migraine tool kit” isn’t enough. My attacks have been so severe lately that I’ve stepped up my game and have been scheduling a massage. The spa near me is taking the right precautions during COVID, and it’s much needed. Apparently, my neck, shoulders and head have had a lot of knots from holding the baby, which could be adding to my migraine pain. Who would have thought carrying a baby around would do that to you?

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At the end of the day, having migraine sucks. It sucks more when you have a little person who relies on you. However, the most interesting thing I have learned from this is that while I am feeling like I just stepped off the swings, it’s much easier to power through when you have a baby. Before, I just had to feel great for me, but now, I need to be my best self for both of us.

It’s amazing what being a mom can do to you and how it changes your threshold when it comes to pain. I hope this list helps my fellow moms with chronic vestibular migraine and if you have any other great tips, feel free to leave them in the comments.