Once upon a time, I had a dating blog called DazzleMeDallas. I was new to the city and after several weird dates, decided to blog about them. Flash forward 8 years later and I’m married with two cats. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t relive some of my most awkward dates.
Starting with the first date that started my
“You Wore Those Shoes”
October 2011
All right, so I have lived in Dallas since July, and after getting established in my new place and job, I knew it was time to get out in the dating world. I just so happened to meet this aerospace engineer and for his own privacy let’s just call him “Rocket Scientist.”
After a few weeks of texting and talking on the phone, we finally decided to make plans for a date.
You see normally, I feel like the cliché date is to take a girl to either dinner and a movie, or to just get a few drinks to get to know one another a little better. However, “Rocket Scientist” decided that he should take me to TopGolf, a driving range/golfing game, very relatable to bowling if you have never been. In all reality, that sounds like a fun date, right? You get to relax, be goofy and get to know a guy in a fun environment. So one would think…
I got ready for this date like I would any other. I consulted with one of my friends, who told me that TopGolf is the type of place where you want to look more casual, but cute. Perfect!
I got ready and drove out to meet him. (I don’t like when guys
He called me when he got there and told me to meet him at his car.
I walked up gave him a hug, and watched him as he pulled out his golf clubs from his vehicle. I could already tell that he took golfing very seriously.
As we walked toward the building I started to joke that I wasn’t a pro, but this should be fun. Rather than laugh or even give me a smile, he looked me up and down and then his focus went back to my gold, shimmer, gladiator Steve Madden sandals and he said, “You wore those shoes?”
Strike one.
Okay, hold up! What’s wrong with my shoes? These are my “I can be casual but like to still party shoes.” haha. I thought I was going on a date here? Was he wanting me to bring my cleats and be dressed in plaid from head to toe?
So, how did I respond? I just stared at him (feeling very self-conscious of course) and said, “Yes, why?” He went about his business and avoided the question, I’m sure he felt like a jackass.
By this time we had walked into Topgolf and had made a reservation for our game, in the meantime, we were allowed to play free mini golf and were given a bucket of beers.
Awe, yes, mini golf. We can relax and act like kids again while we fail to hit our balls into the big windmill.
I wish that were the case.
Not only was “Rocket Scientist” serious about bringing his golf clubs, but he was also serious about mini golf too. He played first and hit the ball into the hole on his first try. Crap. The pressure was on.
I walked up and after five attempts, finally got my ball into the hole. When I finally looked up and smiled for recognition, I was rewarded with a “You have terrible form, maybe if you took this more serious, you would get the ball in the hole on the first try.”
This is what I call a missed opportunity or a “swing and a miss.” You would THINK that this would have been the time where he could get behind me and help me with my form. Nope. He instead directed me to his body and a simple light-hearted game became extremely serious.
You can imagine that my level of uncomfortableness was rising. I tried making everything a little more easy-going and asked him if he was always so serious, and I got another awesome response.
“(He laughs), Well… I’m an engineer…” Now imagine that statement in the cockiest voice you can imagine, and you have the voice of “Rocket Scientist.”
You would think that would be “strike 2,” but at this point, that response really didn’t surprise me. I knew we still had to get to the main event, so as we continued this miserable date, I continued to act interested and ask where he lives and if he has any roommates.
He looked at me puzzled and responded, “I told you I live with my parents.”
Strike Two.
Woah, what? Live with your parents? You mean to tell me that you’re a 27-years-old, an aerospace engineer, probably making about $90K a year and you live with your parents? You have no problem
I had to drop eye contact and look at the floor, “Oh… yeah, I remember that.” Which I clearly didn’t.
The date proceeds…
A “fun” game of mini golf concluded and it was time to hit the driving range.
Naturally, after my little performance as a subpar mini golfer, “Rocket Scientist” decided that it would be a good idea to let me sit this one out and watch him hit all the balls.
Finally, after about 20 swings he allowed me to hit the ball (just this once.)
It was my time to shine! I would show him! I was going to hit that ball so far that it burst through someone’s car window.
I took that confidence with me, stepped up to the tee and swung and hit nothing. When I attempted again, I hit the ball two feet in front of me.
(Face Palm)
And how do you think he reacted? He made me sit down.
After about an hour of this, I finally made an excuse and told him it was time to go home. I gave him a hug and thanked him for everything.
Praise Jesus! I was free!
And then…
Strike Three.
I arrived at my apartment, walked in the door, flopped on my bed and grabbed my phone, only to have a text from him.
The text read. “I should have told you this tonight, but DAMN you are freaking hot.”
This is one of those times where you keep your thoughts to yourself. Not only did you call me “freaking hot” but you didn’t even have the balls to compliment me or comment on my physical attributes to my face.
Oh wait, I’m sorry., that’s not correct. He did. “You wore those shoes?”
